MY VAMPIRE DESIRE
December 8th. 2014
Today is the day of my 25th birthday, and the night that I had made a sincere wish to find an immortal to love and to love me in return. The warm seducing feelings that are inside of my soul tell me that he does exist, and the stranger in the night the lover of my blood; I desire for him to come to me…HE MUST. My bleeding heart holds a heavy beat as each long hour ticks upon the clocks face, while I impatiently wait for my master to arrive. Who of course am I waiting for; my family and friends wonder as they watch me pace the patio’s floor? My black cloak flows with the nights wind, as its silk fabric makes the sound of music while I sing. Will he hear my hungry desires and my deep needs? Will he hear my soul whisper his empty name; a name I yet do not know, a name that I dare to know someday, and a name I dare to take as my own. I will be his, and he will be mine whoever he may be; my vampire desire.
I wonder if the universe will lead me to him? My mind and heart wander, and will the cold December night bring my soul to flight? Will my birthday wish lead me to my love tonight? I want to give all of me, and I want to be loved fully for being all that I am. I will give my heart and soul to the fullest of the last of my breathing mortal life if only he would arrive, my master; my love. Though I am a married woman I do need to be honest about my marriage in its current state, as it is not what it seems to be. While there lives in Liam but another side to him that others don’t know of; with his non-existent care of my mile stone Birthday. He pretends to show an interest in my vampire themed birthday cake and to my presents; the incense from my mother to keep away the evil spirits and the tarot cards from my sister to predict my future.
In secret and behind the closed doors I endure the truth about my gifts, as I believe in them. While the cards rest inside of my hands and tell me what I need to know about my marriage. I place my energy upon them all, as I ask them what I need to know and they assure me of a past life coming to surface, and truest love.
Liam thinks I’m absolutely crazy for being obsessed with the tarot cards, the vamps, and the dead; a killer of the night he calls me. Liam not only laughs at me for dressing as one in the immortal world, but he dwells upon me wanting to become one of the immortal as well. He laughs at me with mockery while he pretends to suck upon my neck. I don’t know what is worse; him laughing at my extreme fetish for the vampires, or him pretending to enjoy my immortal vampire fetish? Liam also laughs at my dream to become an actress on stage. He laughs at me plenty enough, especially when I ask him to role play as a vampire during sex. I’m just trying to have fun with the one who I am supposed to have fun with, but my husband. Maybe my taste for sex is a bit dark and painful at times, as I like to bite Liam on his tip while his cock goes in and out of my wet hot mouth. I like to cover his eyes with a blind fold and tie his hands to the rod iron bed canopy, as I suck on his tip and devour his entire girth while fangs accompany me. Sometimes he goes along with it when he is extremely horny and he will do what he has to do to get a blow job from me, however overall he feels as if he is married to a psycho. I’m not a psycho I’m just being expressive in my desires.
Liam thinks I’m nuts with all of the crazy things that I ask him to do to me during our deep bone to bone love sessions. I ask him to wear vampire fangs and I tell him to bite my pussy really hard, dive in, and suck me. I love it when he softly nibbles on my pink wet flesh. If only he would just bite me harder sometimes on my pussy’s softness. Although I shouldn’t really complain; without fail Liam has me reach my climax every time that he enters his cock inside of me. He hits my G-spot over and over and deeper again. It’s not the sex that bothers me as much as it’s the fun role playing that I’m missing. He knows just how I love to role play, and he knows that I enjoy hot love making in the middle of the day. Liam just won’t break out of his comfort zone with me and realize that it’s ok to make some dirty hot love with his crazy ass wife on a kitchen table instead of on a bed. Dirty hot loving is my kind of loving. What husband wouldn’t want his wife to get down and dirty on his cock in the middle of the day, as she pleasures him inside of her hot mouth? I just don’t get it.
Should I just shut the hell up, and realize that the grass isn’t going to be greener on the other side, or would it be greener if only my vampire would come and save me from this despair. I wonder if Liam is my soul-mate, or is there another man out there in this universe who will be all that I want and need, and is there another man who will complete me more than Liam, as I hope it to be a vampire lover of course? What would I even do if my wishes ever did come true? What if I was sent to my vampire lover, would I go with him or would fear stand in my way of my happiness?
I truly do love Liam…I do, however I must question the universe tonight on my birthday, “Universe as I sit under your embracing haven I have to ask you this…if I was married to my one and only soul-mate, than why would I be seeking so hard to find another one? Answer me please universe. Is there really such a thing as a soul-mate, and if there is would you lead me to him, or would you bring him to me through the cold breeze.”
Enough of this pathetic dreaming Lana…I tell myself, as I must now go and spend some birthday time with my family and friends. I say to myself with desperation if there is such a thing as a soul mate and my vampire desire I will know about him soon enough.
Well I’m going to bed in about an hour when everyone leaves, and when I fall asleep I will drift away into my own fantasy land with the man of my desires, a vampire. Oh I’m such the dreamer.
Good night to you dearest diary, and happy birthday to you, to me.
It was a very good day at the salon with a lot of curls, up-do’s, and make-up galore. Such fun how today reminded me of the days that I used to act on stage in the local theater. Today I was missing such a thing as acting with the hair so full, and make up divine. I truly miss the luxurious costume fittings of mine and trying on all of the theatre hats, furs, the bustles and the corsets of lace and pearls.
I sadly miss acting although I only did it briefly at the age of 18 thru 21, but to remember just how much fun it was. It leaves a little empty pit there inside of my stomach. I’ve just upset myself, and now I need to take a long hot bath to relax my emotions. I just hate to remember the reason why I stopped acting. Why did Liam stop me, or rather why did I allow Liam to stop me from acting is the question? Meeting Liam at 15 and him nearing 18, as he felt protective over me and he liked to keep me close to him by his side at all times. Liam would say such truthful hurtful things as, “Acting…? What kind of job is acting going to be? What are the odds you will succeed? You would be living on the road, hotel to hotel… acting here and acting there. Do tell me Lana would this be with me and our children someday? What kind of life would that be for all of us to live on the road? There’s absolutely no stability with a career such as acting on a stage. You’re living a pipe dream.”
I cried my hardest that day I quit acting especially when I realized that Liam was right in all that he was saying. That’s when I had decided to change my career path, and I became a hair stylist, a make-up artist and a nail tech; it’s a job where I can either work at a salon, or be a staying at home hard working mom. However Diary what’s done is done, but to imagine being able to turn back the hands of time. Oh wait I better be careful with all of these wishes I’m casting this week…perhaps they will all come true. For it is still my birthday week.
Good night my diary. Thank you for listening.
Tonight was such a magical night I must say to say the least. Oh how the wind seeped through my soul while walking home from the salon, as it passed by my lips it pressed against them and it felt as a kiss. I know Diary that I sometimes have such foolish Lana thoughts, but tonight when the soft breeze blew I heard a man’s deep voice chanting my name. It chanted Lana…over and over again, and it clearly wasn’t only in my thoughts. The deep seducing voice sang to me the most amazing charming enchanting falsetto song.
Such vivid visions surrounded me as this man sang to me through the cool breeze. My long dark hair wrapped along the sides of my breast, as I felt his heavy breath upon my neck. Then this man with a shadowed blurred face appeared wearing a black top hat, cane and cape. I felt his alluring body heat as he moved in closer to me, then I felt his strong arms wrap around my tiny waist. He gently pulled my body in closer into his warm embrace as he kissed my lips, and then he softly sucked my tongue. He tasted my neck, my shoulders, and licked in between my perky breasts. He drove me absolutely wild. I moaned as he caressed my long luscious locks with his finger tips. I just couldn’t get enough of him.
I started to realize that this was really happening to me, and these visions weren’t foolish Lana visions anymore.
My body trembled as he pressed his hard cock against my fur cape. I felt his warmth through my cape, as he hummed a low chant. We climaxed together while he moved me slowly back and forth upon his stiff shaft. We dry fucked as I moved my hips faster and faster to the beat of our hearts pound. Purple lights had flashed around us, then the purple lights had changed to red and this man slowly disappeared. Sadly but true all of my visions of this man and all of the feelings of me and this man making love had all come to its bitter end. Left there in the middle of the pavement street in the small town of Water Rose…I was throbbing and creaming down below, where he hadn’t yet been inside me only dry fucking.
The delicate breeze blew as I felt my weak feet slightly lift off the pavement street. Songs lingered the air my name over and over and over again. I thought for just a moment; could it be that my birthday wishes were coming true, could it be that this man be my soul-mate? Oh foolish you are Lana I told myself; I told myself of course this is not the man of my dreams, and I must have lost my mortal mind. I convinced myself that I can’t make love through the breeze. Love can only be felt in the flesh and not through the breeze, and I will know him my soul-mate wherever he may be. I know that I will find him, as long as I continue to believe that I will find him. Oh diary how I sound delirious, don’t I…? I am married and I am a mortal. Ugh. What is wrong with me? But as crazy as I may sound while writing upon these pages, and as for tonight and the breeze and the kisses upon me; I felt someone’s presence around me and inside of me, beyond what my eyes could only imagine him in the flesh to be. He was chanting my name through the breeze, and my ears don’t lie. His breath I felt it upon my skin, and it was so hot. I felt his hard long cock so deep inside of me, making love to me with such an erotic passion just the way that I want it and I loved it.
I felt the cool night’s breeze, and felt his warm breath surrounding me. The chill was in the cold night, and as his body pressed against mine all I felt was his comfort and pure warmth delight. I thought repeatedly could it be my true love, and could it be that my love be a ghost? No, but can he be a vampire? But I mustn’t lie to myself and what I felt, and I mustn’t chase away these crazy thoughts of mine, crazy Lana thoughts.
Good night Diary, good night.