That moment when you look around in your life and you realize that you’re in the place you are because of ONE SPECIAL PERSON, but that person is no where to be around. That SPECIAL person is the one who inspired you…who has been the one to listen to you, and was the one who you loved with all of your heart and soul. Now you’re living in this life, while holding onto that lost love…is this healthy? Is this way of existing being truthful to yourself, and are you hurting yourself? Than you ask…how did you get to this place? Yes you’re happy, but are you crying on the inside? Do you ever wonder if the tears you shed are sad tears, thankful tears, happy tears…? What if you never met that one person who changed your life? Than, you would not be where you are today. Would you rather have never found this SPECIAL person at all? Would you take it all back…just to stop the tears from falling, or would you be crying anyway due to sadness? What kind of tears would you call these? Lets take a second to rewind. You’re in a place in your life and you’re not happy. You’re completely unhappy and all you want is someone to love you the way you need to be loved, and treated as you desire to be treated. You continue to live this life this way due to the fact that you’re committed to another and have children…so you stay with an unhappy aura around you, and all you ask the universe for is some help with feeling true love. You begin to be guided to someone ELSE…you know this someone is unlike anyone you have ever met before. You realize it’s the exact person whom you created inside your mind to someday find. You connect eyes… you feel dizzy, and you begin to lose your breath. You say hello… they say hello, and you exchange emails through small conversation at a local store. Now you’re thinking endlessly about this SPECIAL person. Wondering ….is this person thinking of you too? Sleepless nights with thoughts of this SPECIAL person making you wild inside! You connect through emails. You fall even deeper into an emotional pit of quick sand. You try to keep your chin above the dirt, as your head and raised hand all go under. You begin to drown in your own emotions while trying to breathe. You’re trying to lift your self up from the sand, as you manage to do so. You realize you’re married, and you begin to breathe as common sense lifts you up from the thick sand. You wipe yourself of the muck, as you stand on solid ground, but feeling lost. Lost? LOST! You finally feel you found your way, and you finally feel you found your person…your one SPECIAL person for you, however you can’t be with that person and you can’t follow that person. You must let them go, and you must watch them walk away from you as you have another person waiting for you at home. While your body goes home…your heart and soul follow and stay with that one special person. How can one do such a thing? To allow your body to be somewhere other than your heart and soul…? How can one now reattach themselves together? Can they? How can one tell their heart and soul to stop following that one special person? Would anyone even know? How would they? Can one be so sly to be able to keep these things separate with out anyone knowing? Maybe! Now, we move away from than, and go to now! Now, you shed tears…many hard tears for this SPECIAL person who is now with another. You cry and you cry as you weep for them to come back to you. Than you realize something. Your heart and soul have been with them traveling this earth the whole time. They never left them. But, they needed someone to hold onto… someone to talk to, and someone to make love to. One can not do these things alone. As your heart and soul stand aside and watch that one special person find another…your heart and soul slowly find their way back into their body. As now they have reunited…the body attached with the heart and soul. You start to feel complete again, as you’re feeling compete as a whole…you say to yourself “Am I now finally happy? I am not as I once was. I once was lost and empty inside, and now I feel fulfilled with a heart and soul full of love.” You begin to carry around with you this whole new heart and soul. You now feel love! You feel the love as you have always wanted to feel and needed to feel. Do you now share this love with your one your with? You decide to share that love, and as you do….you say to yourself “If I never found my special someone…I would never be able to feel this true love feeling.” Should you feel guilty for feeling this special love, or on the contrary…and feel grateful for finding such a love? hmmmm????
xoxoxoxo HAPPY NEW YEAR…LOVE D. *) thank you for reading my blog. feel free to leave a comment.