This Diary Belongs To:
IN BETWEEN DREAMS
THE DINING ROOM
HOT BANANA SPLIT
MY LOVE’S SOUL
Feb. 6, 2012
It’s been quite some time since I have written upon a diary’s pages. It’s hard to describe how I feel inside. A lot can happen in almost four years, though it feels as it were yesterday that I had to let go of Armond. Still I wonder what he’s doing… if he’s happy with Miara Fayna, if he misses me, does he think of me, will I ever see him again…? Who knows?
It’s been a long few years on the other hand working on my marriage to Aaron. Aaron has become quite the erotic sex partner! After Aaron pretty much burned our house down, there was a choice I had to make. The question in my mind was do I stay with Aaron and start over our life together, or do I leave my marriage and start over alone. I would’ve never guessed that I would pick to stay, however Aaron’s true change, caused me a change of heart. Although Armond lingers inside of my mind every day, I know this is the life I am to live. Armond lives forever inside of my heart. No matter where I am, Armond will always be with me. Good thing for memories and dreams.
Anyway I’ll try to write more later on. Until then, thank you diary for your pages.
Hi my diary it’s me.
Aaron has been so busy rebuilding our home. The siding is up, and the roof is done on the one side of the house. It’s coming along so nice! We haven’t spent that much time together, however when we do it’s really quite hot! I sometimes almost feel guilty for being so aroused by Aaron, knowing that my heart beats heavily for Armond. It’s not that I don’t love Aaron, and I don’t accept my life as it is because I do. I’m grateful for all that I had to go through to get to where I am today. Aaron is amazing, and so are the two children he has given me. As painful as it was to let Armond go, I’ll still always hold onto his love forever. If it weren’t for Armond’s existence, I would’ve never found that strength to become who I am today. I wouldn’t have found my balance. I wouldn’t have found myself. Finding Armond has awakened me from the darkness and brought me into the light, as long as Armonds love remains inside of my heart… my inner light will always shine.
I’m watching out the window Aaron picking up cinderblock after cinderblock, creating a basement… something we never had. It’s getting late and he’s just going and going like the Energizer rabbit. I’m pulling up the window and I’m going to call out to him to come in. It’s almost 11 o’clock at night. Good night my dearest diary.
Hello diary it’s only me. It’s about 1:20 AM, and it’s just one of those nights. I lay here on my bed fantasizing about Armond, as my fingers start to sensually wander and explore tender parts of my body. I imagine Armonds touch upon my skin, and then I fall asleep. Isn’t it funny how we can meet someone and know them for only a short while, yet love them with all of our heart for the rest of our life…? Is that called a soul-mate? Is there such a thing, as I believe there is to be? If so, I believe I have found mine.
Anyway… I’m really writing tonight because I just woke up from a dream. I’ve been having these I’ve ‘been here before’ dreams lately… they’re almost the same as the visions I have seen inside of Mystical Forest. Armond is always in them, and he’s mostly with this woman with long dark hair. I never see her face it’s always shadowed and blurry. The rest of everything and everyone else in my dreams are vivid and clear, where I can see every detail and line on their face. Just tonight I had a dream of this white vintage carriage with jeweled stone’s encrusted on the back; Count and Countess. The cobble stone ground was multicolored mostly pinks, purples, and grays; where the women with blood red lips, cherry cheeks, and breasts peaked out of their corsets strolled upon it. Their men were all in top hats and canes, and in the middle of the crowd of all pale faces… I saw Armond’s blush cheeks! He was walking toward this jeweled encrusted carriage labeled Count and Countess, wearing a top hat and cape. People were following him, and clapping for him! Everyone was singing behind him as he bowed down, tipped his hat and said “Thank you all, much love…and tomorrow… for tomorrow I shall return, and perform such a scene… until than!” He swung open his cape and threw it over his right shoulder, as he stepped up to the jeweled carriage door. He bowed once more to the applauding crowd and said “For… I am Count Dracula, the son of the Dragon!” As he opened the door, he took his top hat into his right hand and pulled the door closed with his left. Inside of the carriage was this woman awaiting Armond; however I couldn’t see her face! He closed his eyes and kissed her with such passion. She reached for him with her left hand as she caressed his face and his dimpled chin. She traced his bow tied lips with her fingertips, and I heard her say to Armond “You’re my One! You’re my Forever Someone! You’re my Count Dracula… my Michael!” The two white horses with jeweled and white feathered saddles, along with their noble riders dressed in white; carried Armond and his Countess away in their jeweled carriage. As the carriage rode away onto the cobble stone ground, over a hill and onto a path that lead to a castle, overlooking a waterfall… my dream ended!
When I woke up I thought … ‘how can I be dreaming of Armond when all Aaron does is everything right?’
Anyway… do you see what I mean diary about my feelings? My feelings for Aaron have changed, however my feelings for Armond have not. I never thought I could actually feel this way again for Aaron, however I wonder is it Armond’s love that I feel, as I’m fucking and making love to Aaron? Is it Armond’s love that I crave when I kiss Aaron’s lips and erection? Is it Armond’s love that I feel when Aaron’s penis is deep inside of me? Ugh… I NEED TO BALANCE MY DESIRES!
Anyway Diary I’m breathing in and out, in and out… controlling my crude tongue. Until next time! Hopefully tomorrow! Thank you so much for listening.
Aaron has been so busy rebuilding our home, that I figured a good blow-job would be nice tonight!
As deep as my mouth went… I pressed my tongue firmly against the sides of his swollen penis, and I sucked his tip deep as I placed my slender finger in and out of his backside rear entrance at the same time! He howled like a wolf!
He told me to stop sucking and for me to turn my body around on the dining room table, so he could watch his ultimate pride and joy enter my wet, hot and ready puss-puss lips from behind. I screamed for Aaron to pump deep, hard, and fast… so he did just that!
I on my all fours… he then spread my rump’s soft pillowed cushions wide open, and he placed his many hard inches as deep as he could go inside of my puckered rear! He pumped harder and deeper, as I screamed for more… so he gave me more, as I fingered myself while he penetrated inside of my derriere.
He pumped so hard and so fast inside of me! I just love the sound of our sweaty flesh, as it smacks up against one another! I screamed and howled as he exploded his hot cream inside of me!
I dripped his hot cream from my swollen puckered backside, as Aaron watched his large penis slowly release itself from inside of my hot wet inside!
Aaron has changed so much during sex in these last few years, and not to mention watching him rebuild our home in the cold weather… watching him hammer nails, he’s done so much too much to mention! It makes me wonder… if Aaron never set fire to our house we would not have had anything to rebuild. There’s a reason for everything. When I asked Aaron why he burned our home, he said “I thought you were never coming back, and if I didn’t have you… I didn’t want anything!”
Here Aaron and I are rebuilding our life, and having erotic hot steamy sex… and here I am about to write upon your pages all of my buried emotions for Armond… there are so many of them, so many emotions! Sometimes I feel sad even when I’m happy, because I’m thinking of Armond. Sometimes I’m lonely even when I’m with Aaron, because Armond is not with me. Still I think of his face, his chanting… his smile!
Ugh… I’ll write more when I’m not so scattered. Good night diary.
I watch Aaron as he builds our home. He’s done so many amazing things! What his hands can do!
Oh tonight he was holding me close to his heart, as he had me naked on the kitchen counter top! We made love and we fucked in many ways, and many times! Aaron took my wet puss-puss to the edge of the granite counter, and pulled onto my hair harder and harder while he held my head back… then he sucked on my perky nipples, and kissed my body till his tongue licked me deep inside of my tender pink! I allowed my wet puss-puss to leave creamy drips all over his full lips.
Aaron then slid my body down upon him, so I rode upon his thick main vein and I sat upon his penis… while I squeezed my soft pussy lips around his tip. I kissed his wet lips and sucked on his tongue, as my nails dug into his hard ripped chest. He rubbed my clit, while I rode him fast! My head tilted back and with my nipples erect… I arched my back, as I grinded my saturated soft wet puss-puss in circles. Still grinding upon him… I rotated my body now facing the counter, as we were still locked together I took his penis from behind. He slid it all the way inside of me, and then he released it all the way back out of me! ALL THE WAY BACK IN… as I grinded his bones in circles, and again he released himself ALL THE WAY BACK OUT! I rested my clit upon his tip… we made love, and we fucked! We did both! Aaron gagged me with an apple to muffle my screams, and he tenderly kissed me!
I gained a whole new respect for Aaron that I just can’t explain. I’m so grateful for the husband and father that Aaron is… he really is great! I could go on and on for what he has done for me, and for our family.
I definitely can’t complain about anything. It’s just very weird, because yet I’m happy in the here and now… I just can’t seem to stop dreaming about Armond. Why do I endlessly dream about him…? I wonder, does he dream about me? I’m speaking out into the night… watching the clouds as the wind presses against my lips, and it feels as someone is kissing me. I believe the universe does speak to me, and I understand Aaron has changed, but what about the changes I have made? I have made so many changes inside of myself, and I have grown in such a different way than I would have… if I hadn’t met Armond. I know Armond is the reason why I am the way I am today. It was the desire for him that I carried, from the moment I left his passionate embrace. It was Armond’s love, his windows to his soul. It was his energy that balanced me. It’s been Armond’s love and light that has shined inside of me this whole time! AHH!
I’m writing upon your pages to let out my emotions, so I can feel like a great mommy in the morning and prepare breakfast for my happy little family that I love so very much. Should I feel guilty for being so grateful for meeting Armond, to give me such light to carry and give to my family…?
Hello my diary,
It’s another night, another dream. This time it was of that same woman with the blurred face. She was putting together costumes for a theatre play. There were capes, corsets, lace, and bustiers. Above the costume mistress’ head, was a sign of black and red Count Dracula… the son of the Dragon.
As the mistress put together the many costumes she started to undress herself, trying on the beautiful bustiers and corsets of pearls and lace dripping with jewels. She posed in the mirror as she watched herself caress her breasts, as Armond came out from behind the stage curtain. He cupped her erect nipples into his hands, as she caressed him through his satin pants and she said “Mirror, mirror on the wall… who is the fairest of them all?” Armond said “Why you are the fairest of them all.” Melana melted onto the stage floor naked just waiting for Armond to rescue her fall. She said “If I am the fairest of them all, make me yours forever. Make me your forever someone. I want to be your one… for I am your true love!” Armond dropped his cape to the stage floor, and dimmed the lights to purple. Melana surrendered herself to Armond, as her curvaceous lil’ body went limp. He carried her into his arms to the center of the stage, placing her gently onto the heart shaped bed. Armond took off his black vest and ruffled white shirt and pants, as Melana lay there panting and waiting for him to penetrate her petal pink cell.
Melana’s long dark hair wrapped along the sides of her breasts, as pearls wrapped around her neck. Armond held onto Melana’s necklace, as he gently pulled her closer to his warm embrace. He kissed her lips, and brushed white feathers upon every inch of her porcelain flesh. He feathered Melana everywhere, and it drove her wild! She moaned as she took Armond by his long locks, and she pulled his hair. She kissed his lips over and over, and over again… she couldn’t get enough! Melana’s body trembled, as Armond placed her on top of him; while he enjoyed her warm pink wrapped around his erection. They sang to each other in a low chant while they reached their climax together, as they moved to the racing beats of their hearts. The purple light’s changed to red…then my dream came to an end!
It’s about 12 o’clock and after having that dream I feel like having some hot love. Aaron knows my body better than I know it myself. He knows how to touch me, when to be gentle, and when to be rough. He knows how deep to go, how fast and how slow. Anyway… I’m going to put you away my diary, and try to wake Aaron in the sweetest way. Maybe some nibbles on his ear, or maybe some kisses on his chest, or maybe some bites on his neck. I’ll let you know all about it later.
Hello my diary,
It’s about 3:00 AM, and I’m in the kid’s room right now, hiding inside their closet. Everyone is sleeping, and I’m about to write to you what I just experienced. After having that dream, I woke Aaron. I decided… well okay I could try to nibble on his ear, so I did that but he really didn’t move. Then I decided… well let me kiss him up and down his chest, so I did. He squirmed around a little bit, but nothing much. So… then I said to myself… okay let me just bite his neck a little bit. The bite definitely woke him, but not in the way I anticipated.
I started to stroke his chest with my finger nails, than I started to nibble on his ear… that’s when I bit him. I bit him a little too hard! I pierced him and drew blood. Aaron not only pushed me off of him immediately, but he touched his neck and yelled “Are you crazy? You made me bleed!” Instead of going and getting a tissue or a towel, I decided to embrace him and licked the blood from his neck. He looked at me in the eyes… I’m standing there with his blood upon my lips, as I smiled and said “Are you okay?” Shocked I guess his face was telling me. He said “Am I okay…!? No! I’m not okay! You hurt me! You bit me!” I said “I’m sorry! I am so, so sorry!” He said “I’m not mad at you. I just don’t understand why you bit me…!” I said “I was trying to wake you up to get your attention.” He said “Are you okay…? Are the kids okay…? Well you caught my attention, is everything okay!” I said “Yeah… I was just in the mood for some warm sweet lovins.”
So I tried to make matters better, and I got a Band-Aid to put over his Lana wound. I kissed it, again said I was sorry.
Then… he forgot all about the bite after the session that we had.
Bodies of sweat combined for a slippery ride holding on tight to the rod ironed head board, as we both had an orgasm and climaxed together! Aaron has a way of just knowing how to hold onto me and how to move my body, as he penetrates deep inside of me. I just love to watch his eyes roll behind his head, as his back arches up and his body starts to go through mini convulsions.
You know diary… I couldn’t help but envision in my mind Melana and Armond’s sexual encounter on the heart-shaped bed, in the middle of the theater stage. Who was I making love to tonight? Was it Aaron? Was it Armond?
Oh! Gotta go…I think Colton’s waking up. He usually does, to go to the bathroom. As always, thank you diary for listening.
So today, as everyday my Colton and Crystal make me laugh with the things they say, and the things they believe… the amazing things they do. I just love every moment that I have with them. It’s always fun to create projects. Today Crystal painted a red robin on a tree branch with snow falling upon its beak, and Colton built Lego’s that took no time at all… and a whole creature of some kind was made! Both of my babies are so good. They are such great kids, with great auras and personalities. Anyway… we waited for their dad to come in from working on the house to shower, than we ate. I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while dad and the kids played a game, than we took our second fresh air walk of the day. Well, that’s what we call it. Just down the street is a little pathway that leads to a trail. This trail we travel almost every day in a red wagon with blankets, snacks and drinks. We look for the perfect tree on the trail, than we have our picnic. Anyway, today was just a really great day, as every day.
I feel that writing about my babies… my kids inside of my diary, actually is a bit strange to me. Hmmm… Perhaps I should start a journal for the mommy and her babies, and ONLY for the mommy and her babies, and keep my diary for my fantasies and dreams…
With all that being said diary…
Hello my diary,
Tonight was a crazy night. My absolute highest desire was to share violent passionate love with Aaron! I needed to feel him inside my lusting self. I needed to feel his body inside mine while I fantasized. I thought about Melana and Armond, as I gripped Aaron’s back while he pulsated inside me. I thought… who am I? Melana…? Lana…? AHHH! Here comes Aaron, I think it’s better to put you away diary.
I’ll write more another day. Until then, thank you so much for listening.
IN BETWEEN DREAMS
So today was a great day. Aaron and I dropped off the kids at my mother’s house, than we decided to go back home to spend some time alone. Aaron made me a delicious salmon and pilaf dinner. He cooks so good… to perfection at all times! Everything Aaron does… is to perfection! He leaves nothing for me to complain about, accept that he is too hard on himself. Every so often he has a layoff from work, and as normal we expect this layoff … we keep afloat at these trying times. Well, Aaron he lets it get to him too much, where he looks saddened. He wears not the smile he does as when he’s working. Yes… now he’s working on our domain, however as he says; it doesn’t pay the bills. I help out with coloring and cutting hair of course, however I’m thinking of trying something else to help out the situation. I know I’m a dreamer, and Clea the Oracle of Mystical Forest said to believe in my dreams and to follow them.
Far-fetched as my idea and dream may seem! I’m thinking to perhaps creating a play! A play of all I have seen inside of Mystical Forest… combined with what I see inside of my dreams! No one will know… that parts of the play I have really been. No one will know that my dreams are part of what their eyes will see. They will think I’m just a mom with a wild imagination… trying to make something happen, in a lil’ town called Water Rose.
Hmmm… what should I call it…? The play…what should I call it…? Let me ponder. Until then, as always thank you diary for listening.
Aaron is just amazing, he really is. He worked so hard out there today on the house, but I think he was mad about something. I don’t know … the mason who poured the concrete… Aaron thinks it was not done to perfection in the basement. So, I could tell he was having an off day. At least I know… if Aaron has an attitude, don’t get mad just be cool with him and let him do him. I balance my emotions.
Well, I’ve learned how to balance thinking about hard core sex all the time… from Chastity. All that time balancing my desires for Armond, I think I can balance for Aaron as well. We live and we learn; however isn’t that what it’s all about…? Ugh… now I’m thinking about Armond as always! As thankful as I am… it hurts so freakin’ bad. My heart aches with pain each and every time I think of Armonds face, or even say his name. Anyway…that’s enough for me. I will write inside of you another day.
Where do I start? Today was crazy cool! I decided to put together a costume for my play. Still I haven’t thought of a name for the play yet, but that’s ok… it will come to me in divine timing, as I learned from Guinevere. Who would ever believe that the fairy costumes are actually vamp-fairies I really met…? I went to a consignment shop, and bought green fabrics that seemed perfect for a fairy. I found glitter so I can spray it onto their wings, and I bought the perfect bras… all I have to do is attach some vines, leaves and flowers!
Hmmm… I’ll just let my hands do the thinking. I brought many great finds home from the consignment shop, and I placed them out onto the bed. I started to visualize it all coming together inside of my mind. I knew what to do! My hands went to work, as I just let them. Guinevere was done by the end of tonight. I didn’t stop until she was finished. The flowers are purple lilies that I attached to the leafy and vined brazier, and to the see through pieces of cloth that are to wrap around her waist. The wig came out so edgy. Purple of course, and who will pose as Guinevere…? We shall see… hmmm… Veronica would be perfect! She’s a friend of the family… I’ll ask her! Well that was the progress of today. I’ll write more another day…
What a beautiful night it’s not hot or cold; it’s just right! The chill in the air along with the full moon and rustling tree branches… lead me to sit upon my favorite tree stump. It’s where I sit wishing and hoping for the night I get to see Armond again. Sometimes I wonder if the night will answer me like it once did. Will I see Armond again…? Oh will I…?
I ask myself, is it wrong to dream and fantasize about another…? Is it wrong to bring such passion into my intimate relationship in the real-world…?
The questions of the heart… ugh… Good night diary.
I often wonder… is it safe to write inside of my diary the way that I do. What if Aaron found it and read it? What would he say? Would he think that I’m crazy, need therapy and that I have finally lost it? What would he say if he read about the vampires, the Dragon’s Blood, and the vamp-fairies? What would he think? Even if I told him that all I wrote was the truth, he wouldn’t believe me. Who would believe me?
So, now I write about my dreams… and I’m about to create some sort of play to combine my dreams and my reality. Hmmm… I still haven’t thought of a name for the play yet. I do have one idea… In Between Dreams.
Anyway, what if Aaron read about my Dreams of Armond? Would I be shunned for dreaming? Should I not dream? These are Dreams I cannot seem to escape. However, do I want to escape from them, and do I want to stop dreaming of Armond? Why would I want to stop dreaming about my true love… my One? I’m on the same tree stump… I closed my eyes and wondered and wished and dreamed that one day I’ll see Armond’s face again, and hold him close to hear his heart beating.
Now when I opened my eyes and I see in front of me a pool, swing set, and a sandbox… I realize I’m where I should be here and now. As I sit here I still hold onto those dreams, and I think about my embrace with Armond. I can still smell his scent, and I can still feel his touch. I will never forget the Endless Stare that we shared, and one day I wish to share it again. My heart races and pounds with each thought of Armond, however I’m not in a bad pain any more. Yes my heart races and pounds, however it’s because of love! I am over joyed with passion! Sometimes when I’m too happy my heart races fast, and it begins to hurt. Not a bad hurt, more of a good hurt. Armond has now become my good hurt, my good pain. I suppose that I would rather have love hurt, than not to know love and passion at all.
I love to dream of Armond. My dreams of him remind me of my visions in Mystical Forest… although he is making love to another inside of my dreams. I can’t see her face anyway. I suppose she could wear my face from now on. IF… I should dream of her again. Well it’s late, and the night’s growing colder. I think I will turn on in. I shall write more about what’s inside my crazy head another day.
Tonight’s dreams were ones to never forget. It was of Melana and Armond on the theater stage naked. They chanted a soft sensual melody together, flipping their hair all around seductively! With no barriers to be broken… they began to embrace on the center of the stage floor, as the audience sat in their red velvet plush theatre seats… just wanting to join in ‘Count Dracula’s’ embrace with Melana. Armond took sheer white fabric and brushed it over Melana’s naked body, as she moaned and breathed heavily. Her back arched up and down upon the crimson red lit up stage floor. Melana’s nails gripped and tugged at the white fabric saying “Take me Count Dracula. Take me into your arms. Feel my warmth around your swollen flesh. Take my blood, make me your one. Drink my heart, and feed on my love… I love you Count Dracula, the Dragon’s son.” He said “How can I take you and drink your heart when you haven’t yet seen the world?” Melana said “For I have seen the world through your eyes. Your Endless Stare, your love compares to no other. For the world is now so much brighter since I have met you. Take me Count Dracula, take me!”
Panting and gripping at the white fabric Melana crawled up to him. She reached him and kissed his lips, and as she released her kiss… she allowed her kiss to slide to his dimpled chin, and down his strong chest. She slid her naked body back down the white fabric… only to lie upon the stage floor! He reached down and took Melana into his arms. He wrapped both of them in this white fabric, and stared into her eyes as the audience watched in awe… their faces were frozen to the stage. The violins and piano played in the back ground, as the stage curtain closed to the fading lights from purple to red to black. The audience clapped… a standing ovation, they wanted more!
Armond was coming out of the stage curtain, and he had a bottle in his hand. He raised the bottle up to the red lights on stage and said “I Count Dracula commit myself to the Dragon and drink his blood, for I am his son… he who is my Lord, he who has given me my immortal life. Without the Dragon’s blood I shall die, unless I drink passionate blood from my chosen one. I shall drink the heart of one mortal, but who…? Is it my Melana? Will she bleed me a son… a daughter…? Will she be my wife…?”
There she was all dressed in satin white, with a white fur cape…Melana. She came from behind the stage curtain and said “My Count Dracula, choose me to be your one… for I will show you endless love. I am thee who will love you most. Look into my eyes… my soul I will devote. Taste my blood… my blood is love. Taste my love upon your tongue. Feel my love inside your soul. Allow my blood to make you whole!”
Melana allowed her fur cape to fall to the purple stage floor to reveal her see-through satin white gown, as she took out her hairpins only to release her long luxurious dangling curls that puddled between her perky breasts. She stood there standing upon her cape in the center of the stage, and looked out into the audience with such an angelic face… then looked back at ‘Count Dracula’ and said “Count Dracula… I choose to be a vampire and feed on the love of your heart. I choose to rest by your side together in our wooden box!” Then Melana unlaced her satin gown as it dropped to the stage floor, and she walked slowly toward him. He dropped his cape and ripped off his gray paisley ruffled shirt… to reveal his lusting flesh that gleamed under the flickering silver stage lights. He slowly walked toward Melana naked with no shame, with only true love in their eyes as the lights changed. The stage curtain closed, as they met in their embrace. The audience stood up and clapped as they had tears falling from their face… than my dream once again, came to an end!
I’ll write more tomorrow, I have to get some shut eye. Thank you diary for always being here for me, and listening to my crazy dreams.
Today was interesting. Aaron was working again on the house like a mad man. He barely ate. He had some water, but that’s about it. He came in from outside in the middle of the day, as the kids were at my moms. I had finished doing hair… he decided to take my lustful body, as he lay me on the kitchen table. He took me there! He held my hands above my head, while he nibbled on my breasts. He sucked my nipples, and he sucked my wet puss-puss… as he held me down! Taking his tongue… he swirled it around my clit, as he held my legs down to the table! He entered his penis inside of my wet pink puss, as he drove himself deep! In and out his penis went half way… resting my puss-puss upon his tip! He gagged me with a piece of fruit from the table, as my back slightly arched up! He started to finger my rump as he fucked me harder and harder inside of my tender pink! I tried to scream, but the fruit muffled my howls! Aaron then turned my panting body, as my stomach lay against the kitchen table. Holding my hands still above my head… he decided to jackhammer my derriere so hard and fast! His balls were slapping against the table, as my pink puss dripped cream upon the tables wood. He released his hot cream inside of my rump, and as it oozed out… Aaron sucked me clean!
As I watch Aaron work so hard on our house, and as I make love to him and fuck him… I think to myself do I love him? I answer myself… yes! I ask myself do I love Armond? I answer myself… yes! I think to myself… how can I be in love with two people? What is real, and what is not? Anyway, another day… before I make my head spin, and my world becomes disarray.
Hello my dearest diary,
I come to you tonight because I just awoke from a dream much different than the ones I had before. There was ‘Count Dracula’ and Melana, but they went by ‘Michael’ and ‘Lana’! They weren’t inside the theatre… they were now inside of a wondrous castle! Paintings and murals of vamp-maids, and vamp-fairies hung upon the marble castle walls. Statues of Dragons and Oracles surrounded the marble dining room table, as ‘Lana’ danced upon the marble floor of blues and gold. Wearing a white see through gown where her nipples peeked through, she sang “My Michael, my love… my Michael, my Count…Why am I not your wife? Why mustn’t we share forever now? Tomorrow can be too late. Unless you don’t love me, as I love thee. Tell me my Michael, tell me now… do you love me, as I love thee?” He said “My Lana, my love… of course I love thee, and no other. Don’t believe in the play. For I am not ‘The Count’, I am your Michael just acting! I belong to you… it’s only me and you. For we have a special kind of love no one can understand, a love for only you and I to know… a love to last forever.” Lana said, then why haven’t you asked me to marry your wonderfulness?” Michael said “Divine timing my love. It’s all in divine timing. No rush nor pressure. The love we share you know is precious and I hold it close to my soul, however… I shall ask you for your heart when it’s the perfect time for thy question.”
Of course… my dream ended there! Ugh! I hate that!
Today was pretty, pretty awesome I may say. It started out with buying fabric from my favorite consignment shop. I bought emerald green fabrics of different textures for the mermaid tail and scales, and bought a sheer nude bra and sea shells for the top. I decided since seeing the vamp-maids inside the castle paintings, and the vamp-maids of Mystical Forest… I was inspired to create a vamp-maid for my play. Also…I did decide on In Between Dreams for the name of the play. I have been telling my clients about it here and there. So they are anticipating the play in the near future… some light hearted entertainment from their hairdresser.
So I started the vamp-maid. I cut up pieces of material in squares, than folded them to create scales, and attached them to a fitted piece of fabric… to create a flowing movement when completed. A touch of sea glass and glitter, and wa-la! The mermaid tail is done. Now I have to work on the top. That’s about it for now!
Another night we shall meet here again my diary… until then thank you for listening.
I can’t wait to write tonight’s dream. Okay…it was in the theatre, on the stage of red lights. Armond was in a burgundy floral printed jacket, with black ruffles peaking from the neck and sleeves. He knelt before Melana in her white satin gown, and she said “Count Dracula… my love is an everlasting gift. You will see…taste my soul, taste my blood… for I’m the one whose blood is love. Why look further than me… when I would bleed for thee?” Melana’s tears fell upon the red lit stage floor, as she whimpered.
‘Count Dracula’ touched his pocket, as the audience watched to see if he would reveal something inside. He kept touching his pocket and rubbing it… going inside of his pocket, touching the outside, as his finger nails scratched against the threads. He then stood up to unlace Melana’s satin gown, and allowed it to drop to the stage floor. He then walked behind Melana and cupped her neck into his hands, as her head went limp. He drove his fingernails of his left hand down her neck, as he caressed with his right hand past her belly until he reached wet flesh.
The audience sat at the edge of their red velvet seats, while they found themselves fanning each other…with each sensual scene.
Armond turned Melana’s salacious body around, as she stared into his eyes and said “My Count Dracula… why will you not take me, what must I do?” He stopped Melana from speaking while he placed his finger to press her lips closed, and he said “Shh… my love. For don’t wonder if I love thee. For don’t ponder if I want to drink your blood. It’s not doubt, nor do I fear your forever love. Why would you choose an immortal life when you have so much more than me? For you can see the sun, and enjoy its fruitful rays… where I will burn and turn to ash, as the fires blaze…” Melana interrupted ‘Count Dracula’ from speaking… she placed her finger upon his lips, pressed them closed and she said “I choose you… I choose love!” The stage curtain closed… the audience clapped as tears fell from their eyes.
My dream than took me behind the stage curtain, only to lead to ‘Michael’ and ‘Lana’ leaving out the stage back door. They had their white encrusted jeweled carriage awaiting them. When they reached the encrusted jeweled door, they stopped on the top step only to embrace and share in a tender kiss. Michael said “Lana… performing with you is a beautiful gift. Who would I adore to perform with more… who could I adore more…? If you could see what I see through my eyes, you would see your beauty in and out… which has me hypnotized.” Michael than opened the carriage door for Lana, and while sitting inside the carriage he said to her “Why do you love me so…? What is it that you love about me…?” Lana said “Michael, my love… I can only breathe right while you’re around. I can only see straight while you’re around. I only know love while you’re around, and you ask why I love thee! I love thee because you complete me. You make me whole. Without you my Michael, I would not know love. For your eyes… so deep and sincere, the way they make love to me. The way your tender lips press against mine… I feel your passion, I feel your heat. The way you take me into another world, my safest world… your arms. I love our emotional and physical embrace… the way our souls mate. I trust you with all of my heart… I trust you with all of my soul. I love you my Michael, for making me whole!”
Michael said “Lana, no words can release from my lips, without kissing you first. For you have shown me love I have never imagined to know. Only in my dreams would I think of a love such as ours. I know you have been wondering when… when I am going to ask you for thy heart. I want you to know, I am always thinking about the day. Please trust in my love as you say you do, and know… I will ask for your heart when you least expect. Allow me to have glory in such a surprise. I love you my Lana… and I thank you for loving me.”
Lana said “My love, my Michael… there is nothing more you can say or do, to have me become happier than I am now. For I trust in your love, and I trust it will be a perfect world, when you ask me. Our place of love and light, but where will we be when you ask?” Michael said “Wonder … wonder… my darling, yes do wonder. I love to watch you wonder about my surprise!” Lana said “You will give me a hint, won’t you my love?” Michael said “No, no my darling… a surprise is a surprise, and I just love the wonder in your eyes! It makes me want to make love to you, and wonder together… let’s wonder where we shall make love tonight. Shall we visit the stars and create music together under the moon, as you invite me into your soft cosmic atmosphere? Let’s moan and groan together and allow the worlds afar to hear.”
Lana said “Oh my Michael for I can’t wait till this carriage stops… so you can take me into your arms and carry me to the castle’s top. On the balcony over-looking the waterfall, take me there. Take my body alive and warm, while I take your hard loving moans… as we are bone to bone!”
The carriage stopped at the jeweled encrusted castle door. Michael said “Lana we are here… done with work and entertaining. Now it’s time for our own entertainment… shall we?” As Michael helped Lana down the carriage steps, she said “Entertainment is our life… isn’t it my love, but what other life would we want? We arouse ones soul and fulfill their sexual desire… with our making love. I would not change my life for the world!”
Then my dream just ended!
I know! I know! Why these many dreams, and why do they have to end? I don’t know! I have learned through journeying Mystical Forest… to believe I will find Armond there waiting for me inside of my dreams, if only I believe. BUT… can it be so…? Is it really Armond speaking to me through my dreams…? I don’t know! I just don’t know! My heart can’t take it, my throat swells up just thinking about it! I barely can swallow my own spit, as my mouth waters and my eyes drain. I just go back inside my mind, and I start to remember our time… our glimpse of love. Should I be grateful for the feeling of missing my love so much, rather than not feel that missing feeling at all? Hopefully Armond is missing me too, and maybe if both our hearts, souls, minds, bodies and everything else misses each other…perhaps … our missing can bring us together to complete our happy wholeness.
If maybe we do come together, and if I should have to let him go again, should I be grateful for the able-ness to see my love again? Or would I rather have left us as a beautiful memory? I don’t know what to think right now. My head is spinning, my heart is racing, and my eyes hurt from crying. I love Armond, and I hope my dreams are speaking to me. I hope our souls have been mating while our bodies have been apart. Ugh… I’m going to bed now, however I’ll talk to you soon my diary another night… another night.
Since Aaron has been laid off from his paying job as an electrician, he has been non-stop working on our house. I feel so bad. I wish I could help him out there; however I’m IN the house cutting hair, as he is OUT the house creating our home. So I guess he believes in my dreams now. It feels nice to work as a team. Surprisingly with a play in mind, and costumes hanging from our canopy in the bedroom… he is not calling me crazy anymore for thinking up dreamy things. I think he actually accepts me for me now… and my quirky ways.
So I have a question of the night. Why do I insist on fantasizing about Armond? Now I must share fantasizing time with Count Dracula and Michael. Ugh! What is wrong with me? Anyway… all kidding aside, I am really wondering about my dreams. They’re becoming a little too consistent, and there’s a story growing here. I don’t know… sometimes I look into things too much and I look too deep, and I dig and bury myself. So instead of making myself crazy tonight, I am going to bed early. Maybe I’ll even wake Aaron, for a little love session …some vampire love of Armond, or let me at a little nibble of Count Dracula. I’ll write soon. Thank you for listening.
I have been preparing my costumes and getting actors set and ready to roll. I have both of my vamp-fairies finished. I created Chastity the other day. She is so pretty I can’t wait to see it on my sister Scarlotte! And my vamp-maid is finished! My friend Nadine is going to portray her. I’ll surround her with pink bubbles, but how would I ever get an image of Armond inside them? I’ll figure it out. Now I’m about to work on my Oracle. There was a statue in the Count’s castle around the marble table, and she looked just like Clea Maudrell. So… I’m to design Clea; after all she did teach me many fantastical lessons. Once my Mystical Forest costumes are finished I can begin to work on Count Dracula’s costume, and begin to bring the vampire side to the show.
I’ve been so tied up with writing the play. If I keep at this pace I will finish it before the summer, that’s the plan anyway. I let a friend of mine read some of the script, and she fell in love with it. She said “Only you Lana would be able to come up with this stuff… only you.” I looked at her and thought… if only you knew, if only you knew. So with the script coming along and the costumes on their way… all I need now is a place to create my vision. Hmmm… as I’m sitting here under the moon, just listening to the many sounds of the night I’m looking at the foundation Aaron just completed. The foundation to the other side of the house has the first floor deck on. Hmmm… as I’m thinking, it would be the perfect spot to perform the play. I wonder…? I won’t charge people…I’ll have a donation box instead. A little light hearted entertainment will hopefully help pay for some of the addition. I wonder though…Will it be like this without any beams by summer or will Aaron be further along on building… and this floor won’t be available to perform my play? As everything… what’s meant to be will be.
Anyway, aside from my play… Aaron and I have really been getting along great. Our sex life has risen to the occasion. Still I wonder, who am I making love to? Still I wonder… who is inside me with every thrust? Then I stop and realize… that it’s Aaron inside of me. It’s Aaron who I’ve locked bodies with, by a hard driven erection… not Armond. I ask one more question tonight. Can our soul make love to someone else, while we are physically making love to another? Can our souls do such a thing…? I don’t know diary… another night.