Hello diary it’s only me. It’s about 1:20 AM, and it’s just one of those nights. So many times I lay here on my bed fantasizing about Armond, as my fingers start to wander and explore tender parts of my body. I imagine Armonds touch upon my skin, then I fall asleep. Isn’t it funny how we can meet someone and know them for only a short while, yet love them with all of our heart for the rest of our life…? Is that called a soul-mate? Is there such a thing, as I believe there is to be? If so, I believe I have found mine.
Anyway… I’m really writing tonight because I just woke up from a dream. I’ve been having these back in the day… kind of dreams lately. Armond is always in them, and he’s mostly with this woman with long dark hair. I never see her face it’s always shadowed and blurry. The rest of everything and everyone else in my dreams are vivid and clear, where I can see every detail and line on their face. Just tonight I had a dream of this white vintage carriage with jeweled stone’s encrusted on the back; Count and Countess. The cobblestone ground was multicolored mostly pinks, purples, and grays; where the woman with blood red lips, cherry cheeks, and breasts peaked out of their corsets strolled upon it. Their men were all in top hats and canes, and in the middle of the crowd of all pale faces… I saw Armond’s blush cheeks! He was walking toward this jeweled encrusted carriage labeled Count and Countess, wearing a top hat and cape. People were following him, and clapping for him! Everyone was singing behind him as he bowed down, tipped his hat and said “Thank you all, much love…and tomorrow… for tomorrow I shall return, and perform such a scene… until than!” He swung open his cape and threw it over his right shoulder, as he stepped up to the jeweled carriage door. He bowed once more to the applauding crowd and said “For… I am Count Dracula, the son of the Dragon!” As he opened the door, he took his top hat into his right hand and pulled the door closed with his left. Inside of the carriage was this woman awaiting Armond; however I couldn’t see her face! He closed his eyes and kissed her with such passion. She reached for him with her left hand as she caressed his face and his dimpled chin. She traced his bow tied lips with her fingertips, and I heard her say to Armond “You’re my One! You’re my Forever Someone! You’re my Count Dracula… my Michael!” The two white horses with jeweled and white feathered saddles, along with their noble riders dressed in white; carried Armond and his Countess away in their jeweled carriage. As the carriage rode away onto the cobblestone ground, over a hill and onto a path that lead to a castle, overlooking a waterfall… my dream ended!
When I woke up I thought … how can I be dreaming of Armond when all Aaron does is work all day at his paying job, than he comes home and builds our home.
Anyway. Do you see what I mean diary about my feelings…? My feelings for Aaron have changed, however my feelings for Armond have not. I never thought I could actually feel this way again for Aaron, however I wonder is it Armond’s love that makes me able to love Aaron? Is it Armond’s love that I feel, as I’m making love to Aaron? Is it Armond’s love that I crave when I kiss Aaron’s lips? Is it Armond’s love that I feel when Aaron is deep inside of me? Ugh… I don’t know diary!
Anyway, until next time… hopefully tomorrow. Thank you so much for listening.